AUTOBIOGRAPHY (Pages 7 & 8 )

 TRANSFORMATIVE TRIP TO EUROPE

My parents, especially my father, had a passion for traveling. They were also deeply concerned about my well-being and the impact of the disease on my life. To lift my spirits, they would take me along on all their vacations. I would act as their guide and help my dad with finalizing details for all our trips

.Every trip was a mental rejuvenation and a learning experience.

Luckily I had a chance to accompany them on a month long Tour to Europe.

The frequent intake of medicines and injections often affected my mood, making me cranky and difficult at times, especially for my mother, who bore the brunt of my emotional outbursts. But she never gave up on me, her love and patience was a constant source of strength.

She was a fighter then and still is.

The trip to Europe, my first big adventure at such a young age, opened a new horizon of thoughts and feelings within me. It was the most fantastic trip of my life, exposing me to new cultures, breathtaking sights, and a world beyond my immediate struggles. 

On returning, I felt a renewed sense of determination. I knew that I would really have to work hard on myself, both physically and mentally, to surpass the limitations of this disease and live a full, meaningful life.

A profound sense of gratitude washes over me as I recall those early years. My heart swells with deep affection that time cannot diminish for the incredible gift of my parents and siblings. Never a sigh, never a complaint escaped their lips, every time as they had to dutifully bring medications, ointments, herbal soap, herbal hair oil, various bitter medicines

I had to take, the endless doctor's visits, and the inevitable tantrums that my young self couldn't always control.

I then decided I would be strong. I would not be the cause of further hardship. I would shoulder this burden myself, learn to deal with its complexities, and face my challenges head on.

I would not let this disease control my life.

At this point I recollect, my parents appointing a maid to cater to all my needs. Apply ointments, lubricate my skin with coconut oil, gentle massage to subside itching. She too never complained and always was there for me. So much pampering and smothering made me very arrogant, selfish, mean and demanding.

“Everytimeyou give in, you are chipping away at your overall self control.” Yielding can weaken self discipline.

Page 7

FINAL EXAMS AND SHADOW OF DEPRESSION

On returning from Europe, I faced the daunting reality that my classmates had already transitioned to college. I was left behind, and my heart sank with a heavy sense of loss and isolation.

 The academic path that seemed so effortless for others felt like a massive hurdle for me, an uphill battle against my own body and mind.

Every time the stress of final exams loomed, the disease would flare up, exacerbating my anxiety and making the task even more difficult. Something within me felt deadened, devoid of motivation and hope. Many a times I felt there was no reason for me to be alive

In reality my mind held a certain sharpness, an eagerness to learn and understand.

It wasn't a lack of intellectual capacity that held me back, but rather the ceaseless, insidious grip of my disease. The constant itching was a persistent tormentor, a distracting hum beneath the surface of every lesion, making it difficult to focus. It was as if I was dealing with a turmoil between my mental and  physical. (Like a quiet battle waging inside mind and body)

Countless times, in the quiet solitude of my thoughts, I would turn my questions heavenward. Why me? What purpose could this constant struggle serve? The answers remained elusive, shrouded in the silence of the divine. But then, a subtle shift occurred in my understanding. A realization dawned that resonated deep within my soul.

If the universe bestowed every desire, every ease upon each individual, what then would be the purpose of prayer, of yearning, of striving? Perhaps, I reasoned, this was not a punishment, but a profound test. This challenge, this dogged adversity, was perhaps my Karma, a karmic thread woven into the fabric of my existence, an opportunity to learn, to grow, and ultimately, to transcend.

This understanding didn't erase the discomfort, but it imbued a sense of purpose, transforming my struggle into a path, however arduous, toward positive inner fortitude to thinking I was “Special”.

 My aunts were supportive and encouraging. They too played a crucial role in pulling me out of this abyss. They convinced me that there was a beautiful world beyond the disease and slowly but steadily, my determination was revived. I passed the exams, with average grades and managed to get admitted into a mediocre college. 

My percentage was barely enough to secure a place in a below-average institution.

This felt like another setback, another reminder of the obstacles I had to overcome to achieve, which for others to attain, was straightforward and easy.

Page 8

AUTOBIOGRAPHY ( Pages 5 & 6)

 

SUFFERING THROUGH NIGHTMARE

My nights were particularly horrible. The constant itching of my skin made sleep elusive, and my bed would become a distressing scene. White flakes would litter the mattress, and blood stains would mark the sheets.

This created an unhygienic environment, with red ants spreading all over the floor and mattress. My mom would never fail to wake up in the middle of the night to clean up the mess and apply Vaseline to soothe my skin, gently coaxing me back to sleep. I had to sleep separately from my siblings to avoid disturbing them frequently through the night.

My clothes had to be washed separately.

It was a nightmare, a constant battle against my own body.

At times, to distract myself from the incessant itching, I would play with toys, seeking refuge in their silent companionship.

 My mom had to dress me in cotton clothes with full sleeves and socks, covering the disease on my arms and legs, shielding me from the world's curious and often unkind gaze.

 I truly felt sorry for her and tried my best to cope with the disease on my own, bearing the burden of this illness and the emotional toll it took on my family.

It was a difficult and isolating time. 

My parents were relentless in their search for a cure, taking me to renowned skin specialists not just in our city but across India. Back then, psoriasis wasn't as well-understood, and effective treatments were scarce. School became a place I dreaded, each day bringing inevitable embarrassment. Everyone wore uniforms but I had to be dressed in long sleeve shirts and cotton stockings.

Now I was even more different and visible. The friends I cherished slowly drifted away, seemingly afraid of being near me physically. Even simple outings with my mother turned into public spectacles, with strangers staring, questioning, and offering unsolicited remedies.

It filled me with a confusing anger, a deep frustration at not knowing how to navigate a world that seemed to recoil from me.

I kept mostly to myself, listening to music, mostly sad songs as if they were telling my story through music. I would stand perched on the balcony and watch while other kids happily played. At this time I was too innocent to understand my predicament.

Page 5

RELOCATING TO A POSH AREA

Despite these challenges, my family's support, especially my mother's  undeterred strength, saw me through primary school. We relocated to a posh area in South Mumbai, moving into a lovely, spacious 3-bedroom apartment overlooking the sea and the city. The apartment was on the eighth floor and the clear view of the vast ocean was just breathtaking and right across was a famous Hindu Temple.

 This move marked a turning point, as I gained a better understanding of my disease and how to manage it. I got into secondary school and found it easier to make friends, perhaps due to increased self-confidence or a more accepting environment.

 Every evening, I would watch the sunset, the beautiful waves crashing against the boulders, their rhythmic symphony inspiring the music within me. The serene atmosphere evoked a feeling of calmness and peace, a welcome respite from the inner turmoil I often felt.

 My love for music blossomed, and I found inspiration and joy in dancing. We had mirrors and a wooden stage in one of the bedrooms, and with the scenic view, the soothing sound of the waves, and the gentle breeze, I would dance every evening to the English songs of the 80s and Bollywood dance music.

This newfound passion, this immersion in music and movement, helped me cope with the disease. I discovered that the happier I was, the less visible the spots would become. It was then I realized how mental stress was affecting the flaring of the disease. I had finally found some solid ground, a sense of stability and contentment that had been missing for so long.

Even now, the memory of my apartment, just across from the temple, feels vivid. Those evenings, as the sun dipped low and the temple priest began their dusk prayers a ceremony of waving lighted lamps in a clockwise motion before a deity 

I would feel myself drawn into a spiritual trance. My heart would beg for a reprieve from the disease praying silently with teary eyes.

With time came acceptance and gradually it became a part of my life story, an undeniable truth I carried. And in the world of flowing fabrics I found various fashionable outfits, to cloak the spots that once felt so exposed. Fashion became an unexpected ally, a means of self-expression that allowed me to design my own clothes, a shield against the curious and sometimes unkind eyes of the world.

I mastered the art of dressing and it elevated my spirit and confidence.

Page 6

AUTOBIOGRAPHY CONTINUES (PAGE 3 & 4)

 

BORN INTO A STRONG FOUNDATION

I arrived in this world as a normal baby, fair and cute. My mother was a woman of exceptional mental and physical strength, a quality that I've always admired and tried to emulate. My dad, on the other hand, was very strict and disciplined, instilling in me the values of hard work and perseverance.

"Growing up, I was fortunate to inherit the best of my parents – their sharp intellect, ambitions, honesty, and a fierce determination to create the most enriching upbringing possible."

My childhood was deeply intertwined with my mother. I was her constant companion on grocery trips, always ready to help carry her bags, her social visits and innumerable wedding invitations. These small acts of consideration were often rewarded with a treat like a bag of chips or a samosa.(Indian snack).Beyond these everyday moments, her frequent visit to temple instilled a profound sense of spirituality within me from a very young age. In those early years, my world revolved around my mother.

UPBRINGING IN A JOYOUS ENVIRONMENT

My parents raised me in a typical Indian/Gujarati household, filled with love, laughter, and strong family bonds. Being the fourth sibling, I had the unique opportunity to observe and learn from my elder siblings' experiences, both their triumphs and their mistakes. 

We were a close-knit family, and I have fond memories of our wonderful time spent together during Indian festivities. I was generally an easygoing and happy child, finding joy in simple things and cherishing the love that surrounded me.

My childhood days were a flurry of activity. We played everything from the thrill of hide-and-seek to card games and the friendly competition of board games. I was always in the thick of it, and it seemed everyone genuinely liked me.

My enthusiasm and the way I engaged in games must have made me a fun person to be around. Looking back, I realize I often took the initiative, whether it was suggesting a new game or explaining the rules. Those were some wonderful years filled with joy and laughter, and I felt a strong sense of belonging within our little neighborhood community.

These early experiences of leading and connecting with others were definitely formative.

Page 3

SCHOOLING AND ONSET OF SUFFERING

From a young age, I made friends easily and was an average student. I had a passion for dance, singing, and listening to music. I remember owning a small radio and eagerly tuning in to movie reviews before releases, the melodies and songs bringing a unique happiness to my life.

 However, my childhood took an unexpected turn when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease known as Psoriasis. This disease invaded my life and changed it drastically. My skin was covered with red patches all over my body, from my scalp to my feet, and every other area.

 Top dermatologists at the time stated that this disease could only be controlled by medication but never truly cured. 

The plaque would recur seasonally and with stress, a lifelong suffering with no complete cure. There would be periods of flare up and remission.

My parents had to provide multiple assurances and certifications from doctors, explaining to the school that this disease was not contagious. I truly felt sorry for my mom, for the stigma and hardships she had to go through because of my ailment.

 My days at school were filled with despair, as I tried my best to make friends and not be alienated. During class, I was often made to sit away from everyone, a constant reminder of my condition. I disliked being pitied. I yearned to be a part of the class, to feel normal and accepted. 

But who can change my destiny? All this was meant for me to go through. It was a lesson I had to learn and surpass the test the fate was throwing at me at such a tender age. I almost stopped going out to play. Once I returned from school my days would be spent with massive application of ointments or visits to skin specialists. My parents never complained about the additional care and the financial burden I was causing them.

Every visit to a skin specialists would take hours, at times even a whole day but my mother never uttered a word. However tired and exhausted she would be, she kept a track of my medications and ointments  plus her daily chores, take care of other siblings and my father as well. Her ability to perform with so much vigor and positiveness was definitely commendable.

And trust me, this was only the beginning of my trials.

Page 4

MY SELF WRITTEN AUTOBIOGRAPHY PART 1 (2 Pages)

FROM THE BALCONY

A Life in Reflection

{Life Lessons by Rachel}

“Life looks different when you finally have the courage to step back… and look at it from the balcony.”

My life's journey is a testament to resilience, hope, and the unyielding belief that life can get better, and miracles do happen. My journey began, like so many, in a landscape of both promise and uncertainty. These early experiences laid the groundwork for the development of my core beliefs and my initial understanding of the world.

These moments served as powerful reminders that even in the darkest of times, there is potential for positive transformation.

Looking back, my life has been a prime example of the enduring power of hope in the face of adversity. The belief that life can get better has not been a passive sentiment but an active force, shaping my choices and influencing my perspective. The "miracles" I've experienced, whether grand or subtle, have reinforced the idea that the universe holds possibilities beyond our immediate understanding.

My journey continues to unfold, shaped by the lessons learned and the lasting belief in the potential for growth and positive change. It is a journey marked by resilience, illuminated by hope, and punctuated by moments that feel, nothing is impossible and everything is possible.

Embrace the divine and cosmic energies that fuel your desires and make manifestation possible. Believe fiercely in yourself, for within you lies an inner hero capable of anything. Just as anyone can dance,!!! you too can boldly navigate life's journey. Unlock the boundless potential of your being and let your spirit soar, meeting every challenge with a smile and walking tall towards your aspirations.

Tap into the incredible energy within you – the power of your mind, body, and spirit. By embracing your passion and believing in yourself, you can overcome any obstacle to reach your full potential,

 

Your dreams have the power to become reality through intention and self-belief. 

Page 1

INTRODUCTION

Hello! I'm Rachel, a woman with dreams and ambitions, much like any other. But do those dreams always come true? That's a question I hope my story will help you answer. I've written this as a humble effort to convey a message that I hold dear: never give up, because there is always hope.

 

Life is filled with problems, yes, but without them, we wouldn't appreciate the solutions. It's like a hiccup – you don't wait to be told what to do; you instinctively reach for a glass of water, and just like that, it's gone. In life, we must adopt the same approach: confront the issue, find a solution, and move forward.

Think about it – the relief that washes over you when a persistent headache finally subsides, the warmth of connection after a period of loneliness, the satisfaction of reaching a hard-won goal after countless setbacks. These moments of joy and peace are amplified, made richer and more meaningful, by the very struggles that preceded them.

My intent in sharing my story is to touch at least one life, to help one individual understand and believe that life can indeed get better, that miracles do happen. I've encountered some unbelievable miracles myself, or perhaps they were strokes of good luck – it's hard to say at the moment.

 

Often, it's only when we look back that we begin to comprehend the reasons, the lessons, and the ultimate meaning of those events. But just as we find clarity, another challenge erupts, and the cycle begins again.

 Life, as I've come to know it, is a constant process of change, of evolving each day, each minute and each second.

Page 2

NAVIGATING LIFE'S CHALLENGES

Life can often feel overwhelming, but that's no reason to lose heart.  The true essence of living lies in effectively facing and overcoming the struggles that come our way.  Many people wonder how to manage their time effectively, especially when balancing responsibilities to dependents with the need for personal breaks.  Fortunately, there are various strategies to help. Here are some tried-and-tested methods that have proven invaluable throughout my life:    

1. CREATE A LIST

It's important to recognize that not all tasks are created equal.  Therefore, it's beneficial to create a list that prioritizes tasks from the most important to the least.  This allows you to allocate time for each item and develop a strategy for accomplishing everything.  By doing so, you ensure that all necessary tasks are addressed.    

2. PRIORITIZE TASKS

Each task has its own inherent value.  From your list, determine which tasks should take precedence.  Prioritization is crucial for meeting deadlines, especially when juggling multiple responsibilities.    

3.REWARD YOURSELF

It's important to reward yourself after completing a task.  This provides a boost of energy and motivates you to move on to the next task.  Achieving goals within a specific timeframe can be stressful, so it's essential to acknowledge your success with positive reinforcement.    

4. DEVELOP A PLAN B

Finally, it's crucial to always have a backup plan.  Life is unpredictable, and having an alternative plan is necessary if the initial plan fails.  This precautionary approach not only aids in achieving goals but also reduces anxiety about potential setbacks.    

FINAL THOUGHTS

Ultimately, "Dealing With Everyday Tasks" is a fundamental aspect of our lives. It's about finding a rhythm and a system that allows us to navigate our responsibilities effectively while still leaving room for joy, connection, and pursuing our passions. It's a continuous balancing act, and understanding the nuances of this topic can be incredibly empowering.

I sincerely hope these strategies help you maintain self-motivation throughout your life, as they have for me.    

OVER THINKING & OVER ANALYZING

 HOW DOES OUR MIND WORK !!!!?

Our mind is like a clock constantly ticking. If you don't voluntarily make an attempt to train it and stop all thoughts it could result in mental burn down. Over analyzing can be a real enemy. It's like a mental war constantly feeding on our calm selves turning simply decisions into more complex dilemmas and problems.

Most are a mental victim to above scenario. Overthinking in various situations constantly lost in the maze of their thoughts, subconsciously solving riddles. It is exhausting causing mental fatigue in the ceaseless mental roller coaster ride. I had a habit of over analyzing every situation or an action or even somebody else's reaction. Until one day I realized the impact it was having on my life and voluntarily made an attempt to resolve this mental habit.

Creating below listed methodology helped me immensely to restrain my mind. It not just quieted the constantly flashing of thoughts and situations but also brought tranquility and balance as if turning down the volume of a blasting speaker.

1) Accepting The Habit 

First and foremost admit that you have an issue of Overthinking. Navigate through your day and understand when and how your mind starts spiraling patterns of over thought. Recognizing was crucial and once you know then its easy to control the chaotic whirlwind of thoughts. Remember changes are only possible with self acknowledgement, so start noticing when you overthink it might surprise you.

2) Use Your Mind As An Anchor

Just an a ship is anchored to a dock to hold it tight from moving forward. In the same way anchor your thoughts. Instead of getting caught up in what could be? What if? How? If only? etc. stay in the present moment. Let no thoughts of past or even future affect your present. Enjoy your being today by focusing on your thinking feeling the scent letting your mend and body sink completely into the present moment. Once you do this your mind will refrain from thinking  and help in your remain in this physical moment. Stepping outside the whirlwind of thoughts and root yourself in the present can be quiet liberating.

3) Designate A Thinking Time

To quiet an overactive mind is to implement a Think Time. Setting your mind to exercise a designated time will train to overthink at that period of time only. This way you are suppressing your thoughts but manipulating it to overthink at a specific time and you are in charge when to start and stop the process. Always keeping in mind these are only scattered thoughts and not facts or reality.

4) Accepting & Learning From Mistakes

No one is perfect. Life is a learning process the more we fail the harder we learn. But it is imperative to accept with affirmation that Yes I made as mistake. Embracing one's fault results in regaining strength of that situation and understanding it better. Failures are a part of life and they do not define individual personalities. Putting too much pressure on mind trying to make everything perfect adds unnecessary stress be it work, chores, relationships triggers overthinking. Therefore understanding it is okay to have flaws or make mistakes is a crucial part in significantly reducing overthinking. After all we are only Humans.

5) Journaling

Routinely journaling your day or week helps writing down thoughts instead of bombarding our mind with overthinking. It is best to channel your battlefield of thoughts into words instead of letting them swirl around in your head unfiltered. Once on paper on reading you may realize how trivial unnecessary and exaggerated our mind works in creating them. And by writing them you are empowering yourself to pen it down, ignore it and put a halt to it.

There are various ways to put a stop to overthinking and over analyzing. Accepting uncertainties of life and being prepared for the worst or being positive at all situations also helps. Let go of the need to control, embrace the unknown. Treat life as adventure but be alert and prepared for anything to happen with a smile. Life is full of surprises one of the reasons it makes it worth living.

A NEW BEGINING --- A RESTART

COMING BACK HOME

Last few months have been all about traveling. We visited number of cities and took an Eastern Caribbean Cruise as well. We were excited and hoping to find some answers at this junction of our lives. Everything has been accomplished yet there is a feeling of something new is about to happen.

Today is almost the end of our trip. Time to go back home and restart our lives without kids as if we are thrown back in life except older. Its scary to redo everything or a part of all we have accomplished but again its too early to just give up or rely on kids or be it anyone. We just have ourselves to count on hold hands together and take the first step towards the new beginning.

Life is echoing calling us telling yes its absolutely possible. Nothing is difficult once you put your energy and mind to it. There are abundant tips for motivation resources online but I choose to rely on my Self. Inspiration that stems from within works like a burning flame, fueling mental energy to act physically and more. Some tips to share which we will push to action once home :

1) Create a purpose/plan/agenda/reason to wake up every day.

2) Fill your days with various kinds of music to suit your mood.

3) Implement intermittent fasting this definitely helps with controlled food intake.

4) Exercise, Walk and Stretch for at least 30 mins everyday.

5) Finally applaud yourself for stepping up and implementing all of above steps.